User Profile

Don't mistake my erudition for arrogance. While I may assume that I'm much more inclined towards a much higher disposition than most, I don't openly display it by using the proverbial "10-dollar words." I speak like that because A) I choose to. B) I can. Don't get me wrong, I despise the academic, ivory tower aesthetes probably more than most. This is why I temper just about every other sentence with the phrase "and shit." Sometimes peppering my conversation lightly with the additional "and stuff and shit" just to sound low-brow enough. I also take pride in being a complete and total badass and wish that I was prone to more violence. Why bother being misanthropic and cynical if you never truly act on it? Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, I have an altruistic streak as well. That and my own vanity are two major contributing factors preventing me from doing harm to my fellow humans on a massive scale. In all actuality, come to think of it, people like me. I'm a swell guy as it was once said not long ago. So enough philosophical woolgathering. Here's the skinny on me and shit:

I am a nerd. I studied physics and computer science in college and played Dungeons and Dragons during crucial formulative years. I did however, achieve massive popularity after I eschewed the mainstream bullshit and decided to go "punk rock" in the 9th grade (my age places me at a time when the novelty of punk as an alternative lifestyle was just beginning to wane). In so being a nerd, but also popular, I am somewhat of a rockstar cum mad scientist. Who knew? Here's the irony of the whole thing: I am also a bit of a technophobe. I own an old-school Atari and the only video games I play are Breakout and Solitaire. I'll spend hours in front of a computer screen busting ass on code, but then it's time to get some fresh air and shit.

As of now, I am employed in my field and I work for a real swell group of people. I have done quite a few things to try to keep myself fed and clothed. These things include but are not limited to: Carpentry, Loan Officer, Tractor Driver, Marine Canvas, Futon Manufacture, Chef, Janitor, Pizza Technician, Metal Fabrication, Magazine Editor, Laboratory Courier and Paralegal.

I have a strange propinquity to remember all things trivial. As an example, for some reason unbeknownst to me, That in the novel, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl, Charlie's father worked in a factory screwing the lids on toothpaste tubes. I will kick your ass at Jeapordy. Yes, I am vain enough to make such allegations.

So, I've been given the tip - and pretty much assumed - that this is not a site to hit on people. Got it. Check. Whereas, I am a complete slut, I'm here to scare people, not to ride the town bicycle. Unless of course . . .

I don't do drugs but I'm not an asshole about it either. Drugs do make you cool but when you get to be my age, nobody gives a fuck how cool you are. Except for me. I give a fuck. . . About how cool I am. . . Not you.

So on the computer front and nerdom and such, I am an openSource proponent and avid Linux user. I appreciate the communal aspect of it but some of those guys take that shit waaaay too seriously. More power to em though. I help them feel haughty and smug when I approach them with my banal, neophytic questions (No, neophytic was not a word until just now . . . motherfucker). I am really good at physics but really shitty at math. It stems from my dualistic nature. I tend to be as anachronistic and iconoclastic as possible while still fitting into the mainstream and obligating some form of social contract. I'm a redneck batcaver, a erudite slob . . . you get the point . . . don't you?

I will eat anything except Shark Fin Soup and I'm kinda on the fence about foie gras. Not a fan of veal either. But that's it. By anything, I mean anything that someone, somewhere deems fit for human consumption which does not run a terribly high risk of infecting one with a known illness. I'm not talking about those weirdos in the Guiness Book of World Records who eat light bulbs and cars and shit. I'm talking about weird exotic stuff like orangutans and panda meat. Some toothless, scabic old man comes up to me on a street in Hanoi and hands me a rat on a stick? I'll eat it. Cow brains? Don't knock it till you try it. So when people knock me for eating animals and ask me why I would eat anything with a face, my response is: "Because it tastes good."

Well, fuck all this, just some idle banter anyways. I'll keep this updated and hopefully more amusing if this site (i.e. you) intrigue me. If not, well . . . I guess I'll just stop.


Ok, here's a quick update. This fucking thing won't let me save my interests because I keep editorializing them. Fuck all that. I get to qualify my own interests. What a pain in the ass.

Friends (12):

Friend of (9):